An Honest Mistake
by FrolickingButterfly
Summary: song fic, kinda dark, implied character death & romance Artemis finds himself in trouble... AAAH, i suck at summaries


**This is slightly darker than most things I normally write. All the words in bold/italics are lyrics from the song An Honest Mistake by The Bravery, which I don't own and have been wanting to write a story about for a long, long time. It's written differently to how I normally write and I'd appreciate any feedback I could get!**

* * *

**I. **Artemis was thinking.

He grasped the dice in one hand; the cold, smooth metal jolted him, woke up some part of him buried deep, deep down … A part he maybe would have preferred stay asleep.

_It was a huge risk._

He dropped the dice and they clattered on the wooden desk before coming to rest, harmless, by the desk lamp.

_This would require more thought… _he closed his eyes and massaged his brow with one manicured finger.

_The bait … disguised … in the drawer … those emerald green eyes staring up accusingly at him, widening in fright-_

NO! Oh, no, don't get distracted. Artemis forcefully ejected the image from his mind.

_The green- NO! –the red cord…_

* * *

_**People  
They don't mean a thing to you  
They move right through you  
Just like your breath**_

* * *

**II. **You can't stop time; you can only stop your progression through it and Artemis wasn't about to do that, not today.

He felt as though he were forgetting something and that put him on edge. It wasn't until they were in the limo that he remembered Butler wouldn't be there.

"What's up?" she asked him when his teacup clattered loudly against the saucer, staring him in the eyes. For a moment he was trapped, staring into her worried yet determined gaze, looking down, down, at her heavy make up, teased hair, short, red dress...

After an eternity, he tugged his gaze away, turning to stare out the window. _Detached. Disjointed._

"Nothing of your concern," he answered; perhaps he was a better actor than he realized for the words came out cold, curter than he had intended. She was taken aback, maybe a bit offended, and he regretted it but it didn't matter, it couldn't, he didn't _need_ to feel anything, he should be cool, calm, collected…

When the limo stopped she spoke; Artemis inhaled the cool air from outside and watched the puff of steam come from his mouth.

He didn't even ask her to close the door.

* * *

_**But sometimes  
I still think of you  
And I just wanted to  
Just wanted you to know**_

* * *

**III. **The dice fell and so did her tears and they dripped down his cheeks and he could pretend for a moment that he was crying but he wasn't crying because he was too cold … so cold .. and he'd lost so much …

And the tears mixed with blood and splattered on those eyes and, quickly, he wiped it off …

… _because her photo was all he had left._

* * *

_**My old friend…  
I swear I never meant for this  
I never meant…**_

* * *

**IV. **"Is that it?" she hissed through the microphone while he was in the bathroom. "Just press the button and go?" 

He tried not to stare at her as she tugged on the waistband of the dress.

"Artemis?"

She couldn't see him but he could see her sparkling green eyes as they stared earnestly up at the camera, devoid of any form of teenaged playfulness; in that outfit, even the innocence was hard to come by.

_What are you doing?_

"Yes." He pulled himself back together. "The green- no, the red. The red!"

But he heard a noise and she turned away. The bathroom door opened and Artemis couldn't look; he shut off the screen but he couldn't turn off the images his imagination provided. He felt guilty, but only for a bit; he thought if he went blind that would be a good thing, and that amused him … but only a tiny bit.

He started tapping his nails impatiently on the table.

He was still going when the explosion sounded.

* * *

_**Don't look at me that way  
It was an honest mistake  
Don't look at me that way  
It was an honest mistake  
An honest mistake**_

* * *

**V. **A millennium passed before Artemis worked up the courage and Artemis would have just as soon preferred it to have been a couple of minutes because he had spent that entire millennium feeling the guilt, the accusation, the shame and, just a few minutes into the consequences, the stare had him feeling everything double.

"How?"

But he couldn't really mean how, it was in the paper. Everyone knew how, everyone thought they knew why. A grudge, a swindle. Lies, a debt. That crooked businessman, the unfortunate prostitute…

But he thought he knew her; he must have wanted Artemis to reassure him, _"she never meant it … she wasn't all bad …"_

She wasn't. It was all his fault.

"It was a mistake," Artemis said, and he knew that would only make things worse.

He didn't miss one bit of the empty sadness in those eyes.

"Artemis Fowl doesn't make mistakes."

And Artemis closed his eyes and the punches numbed the pain; it was nothing compared to what he'd put himself through all those millennia ago…

* * *

_**Sometimes  
I forget I'm still awake  
I fuck up and say these things out loud**_

* * *

**VI. **Butler trusted his employee and accepted the initial explanation Artemis gave. The boy spoke in monotone; he seemed so cold, so empty. He slept and Butler understood, maybe stood by the boy's bedside and pushed his hair back, feeling compassion, so deluded…

Soon, Artemis couldn't tell if he was awake or asleep.

Soon, Artemis didn't think it mattered.

"_The red button."_

Soon, Artemis saw he had been wrong.

* * *

_**My old friend …  
I swear I never meant for this  
I never meant…**_

* * *

**VII. **So many regrets…

One day, when he was near death, perhaps any day now, Artemis would visit that prison and stand on the safe side of the bars to offer his explanation, any explanation, the explanation Butler deserved.

Then, he would throw open the doors and allow the consequences to take him.

Perhaps then, one of them could rest in peace.

* * *

_**Don't look at me that way  
It was an honest mistake  
Don't look at me that way  
It was an honest mistake  
An honest mistake**_


End file.
